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Four Things To Fix To Rank Better on Google SERPs
Blog Posts,

Good Content: Four Things to Fix for Google SERP Ranking

Beyond the fancy themes and colourful images your readers can see, Google also needs to be pleased with your website before you even have a chance to rank on a SERP.

So, how do you create good content for your website by Google’s standards?

We’ll show you briefly, but first, let’s understand how Google finds your website.

Googlebot

Googlebot is Google’s web crawler, created to find websites and effectively index them for display on Google SERP. This process is called crawling.

Google uses the Googlebot crawler to discover your webpage and decide if the content is good enough to rank.

Now, let talk about good content. How can you make good content for Google SERPs?

Here are four areas you have to fix before Google can give you an A+ on your site.

Your Title Tag

Moz describes the title tag as the single most important on-page SEO element. They are right. Google only displays the first 65 characters to users on their SERPs. Make sure your title tag is unique and contains 65 characters or less. Be aware that stuffing your title tag with keywords in an effort to rank is a bad idea. 

Highlight of a Title Tag for a good content as seen on a Google SERP
The highlighted portion is the title tag as seen on a Google SERP.

Your Meta Description

While your page’s description is not a guarantee that your page will rank, Google displays it to SERP users, and it is one of the most compelling ways to get users to click on your page in search results, which, in turn, boosts your CTRs. Stick to 160 characters or less; try not to stuff it with the keywords you’re trying to rank for. 

Look at the example below. Is it a good or bad meta description? We’ll let you decide.

Highlight of a Meta Description for a good content as seen on a Google SERP
The highlighted portion is the Meta Description as seen on a Google SERP.

Your Images

Did you know that Googlebot cannot see your images? Yes, the Google crawler only sees your alt tags, which are then indexed as a search result. Alt tags are short descriptions of images on your site. A proper alt tag should never be generic. Optimise your images and ensure that the text in your alt tag relates to the image attached, possibly with a keyword relevant to the content it is giving visuals to. For more technical optimization, create an image sitemap for your pages and add structured data to describe your website’s images.

Your Good Content

Here’s the best part – content matters! Every aspect of your content body counts in the ranking race, from length to headings and subheadings to even spelling and grammar.

The quality of your content is important as well. If you attract users to your page by stuffing your content with keywords that match their search intent, but you do not provide useful information, this will shoot your bounce rates through the roof, and Google will gradually de-rank your site. Also, ensure that you write lengthy yet concise content, as Google does not value thin content for SERPs.

We’re feeling generous, so let’s throw in a bonus factor: 

Links

Backlinks, internal links, you name them. Links are a great way of getting Google to recognise what websites and pages provide users with value. Clean up your site to ensure there are no broken links, and add redirects to missing pages. You can find broken links within Google Search Console or any whitehat crawlers.

Why should I see my site through Google’s eyes?

If you can please users with a clear and helpful website while satisfying Googlebot’s needs, you may experience more organic growth and improved ranking.

Blog Posts,

Borrow Borrow, When Will You Pay Back?

Based on popular demand, I have decided to write a blog post to drag some people’s edges today.

If you are a chronic debtor, this post is for you.

Is this woman talking to me?

Yes, you, papinko jabalaya.

You’re looking at me with side eye. I no dey fear you.

If you’re reading this article, it is very likely that someone you are owing money subbed you on a social media post and your amebo carried you here.

I just want to say that if you are owing anyone money in this economy, you are a wicked person. No matter how small the amount may be, kindly PAY IT BACK.

Don’t use “boss,” “rich woman,” “rich man,” “my rich friend,” “oga mi,” “my helper,” “comrade,” and related hailings to owe anybody. If you committed to a refund at a said time and date, keep to your word. Don’t be an unfortunate person and allow the person you borrowed from start calling you incessantly. Why does anyone even have to remind you to pay back a debt? At your big age and shoe size?

When nobody gives you anything next time, you will say it is pride.

If you do not have a refund plan, its’s pretty simple. DO NOT BORROW. Instead, ask the lender to willingly give/dash you before you collect the money, not two weeks or three months after.

For selfless people that will rather give out their last dime than send on personal needs, debtors have a way of making them feel stupid.

Here are some things to never say to a person you owe:

  • The money I am expecting has not come in
  • Na because of 5k you dey call me like sey I hold your life?
  • Country hard
  • Omo, e get as e be
  • I should have never borrowed this money
  • Respect yourself please, I will pay you in due time

Especially if you will be drinking wine and going to expensive places on Instagram, these excuses dun mek no sense.

Another class of people are the ones who borrow and pay back part of the money. Sorry, who will complete it?

Omo you know how country dey” is really for you and your Umunna.

Repent ye of your heinous crimes this day saith I, the Messenger of Refunds.

Be a good citizen, pick up your phone and refund that money now (with a lirru I’m sorry for theatric effects).


Now, let us talk about people with big eyes. Oló Júkòkòrò.

When people give you access and you move mad, they will revoke it faster than you know. Why will you go somewhere new like someone’s office or house and “make yourself comfortable”?

See, even a 5-year-old knows that “make yourself comfortable” is a myth.

You’re in someone’s private space for the first time and you are opening fridge and looking for what you did not keep. Opening pot, sizing their clothes and shoes. Using things you can either never buy for yourself or won’t replace.

Omo, the person might not say anything but lobatan oh. You will never hear from them again.

For these things to happen, you have to be reaaallllly close. If you are not close, sit won place.

Special shout-out to people who put others in tight corners by asking for personal items like shoes or wigs or outfits. Who raised you? You don’t know what contentment is?

If they borrow you now, you will slim-fit before you return.

Last one, I promise.

If you are in a public place, try dey get your own water. Corona is outside. How you people are comfortable asking random people for “a sip of water” beats me. The person that brought their own water does not have two heads. If they even tell you it’s lemon-infused or one tin one tin, you will still collect and drink. Tueh.

Change your ways, dear. It’s 2022.

Blog Posts,

My NYSC Camp Experience – Part 3

Hi Gems!

Sorry for the long wait. I have been bee-sea. This is the third and final part of my camp experience saga. Read the previous one here.

Ready? Here we go.

Remember the toastee that got us punished because we could not locate her toaster? Right. After that day, she made so many enemies. Almost all corp members had something hurtful to say about her.

As for the toaster, I bin no dey there but they said they found him sleeping in the hostel and the entire matter died down because “power pass power.”

On to the next one.

I hear people say camp was fun and things. LOL. It wasn’t until I left that I realized that I didn’t really make a lot of friends in camp. If not for my Red Cross members, am die.

Red oooooh.

Also, there was terrible network so I was completely absent online.

For three weeks, I was a stranger, even to my platoon members. We what? We move.

My favorite part of my camp experience was my Red Cross meetings, the weather, and the food.

The meetings made us feel like superheroes. We had to wake up earlier than every other corp member, even earlier than OBS, to prepare for the day. People were even collapsing in early morning parades, no jokes. The most common reason for the collapse was asthma sha, the rest of them were just malingering.

The only annoying part about Red Cross-ing was when other corp members would yell at us at the slightest opportunity. One full-grown man even asked me to rub his butt in the middle of a football match.

If you don’t geddifok!

Inside life.

The weather in the camp was extreme. If it wanted to be cold, it would almost snow. If heat wan dey, everywhere go dey boil. I still loved it like that sha.

FOOD! If you know me well, you’ll know that my middle name is food and that it is even on my birth certificate.

I gained weight in camp, no lies. Half of the space in my box was occupied with snacks and drinks. I couldn’t risk getting hungry abeg. I even had to give out my leftover snacks because I couldn’t finish it alone.

Mammy became my favorite place the day I discovered that Banga soup was sold there. (God bless Niger Delta Kitchen, Aunty Becky and Blessed Samuel).

I asked a lot of questions pre-camp in this post. Yes, I found good toilets. Yes, there was water (but I had to pay for hot water.) I carried enough wipes, had to pay to charge my phones and other devices. Person bin exchange my jungle boots but I got a kind fella to swap one that fit with me. Nothing else was stolen. No yogurt in camp (because NutriMilk is milk juice, not yogurt.) Yes, I survived the weather (use sunscreen guys), and I took my hair in twists to camp.

Note to PCMs. If you’re the quiet type and want to enjoy camp, please join Red Cross or OBS. If you want plenty of friends, better march with your platoon and attend morning drills. Please don’t lie that you’re sick when you’re not. E nuh make no sense.

Carry money oh, my people. Or better still, look for camp wife/husband. People were kuku looking for others to spend on. I hope they are all fine wherever they are right now.

My mates were giving laundry guys their clothes to wash and I was using ice to wash mine every day. Leemao. Please, carry enough whites if you are a dirty person.

This one is important. Make friends with everyone, especially the officials and soldiers. Keep your big man at home.

The last one, don’t talk too much. You don’t know who is who. The fact that you’re all wearing khaki does not mean you all are mates. Respect yourself and stay outta trouble.

My camp was okay. Sadly, Davido was in town but he didn’t come to my camp. I would have said “maybe next time” but there is no next time plix.

Tomorrow is my birthday! I will be attending a Corona Virus sensitization program (by force) instead of turning up. Send prayers (and funds)!

[For real, I have a PiggyVest account oh. Go to Twitter and flex me. My handle is @thejasminejade]

E go be. ✌🏾

Thank you for reading. Stay shiny!

Your favorite jewel,
Jasmine.

** OBS – Orientation Broadcast Service

** PCMs – Prospective Corp Members

Blog Posts,

My NYSC Camp Experience – Part 2

Yo!

This is the second part of my camp rant chronicles. Click here to read the first one. ⚡

It’s a Saturday Morning and God’s children are gathered on parade grounds nationwide pledging service to this our *insert remark* country.

I heard they catch people that register for NYSC twice. Like, why would anyone want to voluntarily go through this process over again? Is it crack?

Anyway, let me give you hot gist from my camp.

A couple of days ago, I was taking a well-deserved dump when I heard the bugle for the 3:30PM parade go off.

Kilo kan mi? I adjusted very well and continued my thing. By the time I was done, the hostel was empty.

Gbese.

Shey I was already late? Let me kuku take my time. What is already dead may never die.

I dressed up and walked to the hostel gate like it was my Daddy’s camp. I could see the parade ground through the hostel fence. Everyone was sitting on the red sand. Ye!

Shey I would have stayed back to rub extra cream? The soldier at the gate was obviously waiting for me.

“You’re even strolling? Squat down!”

Who even sent me to come out? I was plotting my escape plan when another girl strolled to the spot I was squatting at. This one even cat walked so she had it worse with the soldiers.

Apparently, while I was in the restroom, some soldiers had entered the hostels to pack people out and seize their tags. This Miss NYSC was one of them.

As expected, she was told to squat down. I wasn’t expecting her reply. It was something like this,

“Sorry, I can’t and I need my tag back. The Camp Commandant just called me to come to the parade ground.”

Wawu.


“You can’t squat down?”

“Yes, I have a medical condition. It’s there on my tag.”

“Bring it out, let’s see.”

One of the soldiers went on to read the piece of paper she presented. She got tired and asked the Miss NYSC to just explain.

“I have sjksosksnskansbzkapplll—“

“Hayyyyy. Abeg abeg speak English”

“My spine is irregular. I can’t squat.”

“Ooooohhh you’re the girl? Abeg carry your wahala dey go!”


At this point, I was lost. See me looking for excuse and someone used Commandant and Spinal Cord to japa.

I was also tired of squatting and since I didn’t have the Commandant’s number, I could not afford to sit on the ground. So I told the soldiers that I wanted to go back and poo.

“Shit on your body!”

Ma?


Exkiz me ma, I’m not joking oh. My stomach is turnioniown oh.

I was deciding on what part of my bum would touch the sand first when she asked me to gaan shit my shit.

My God is alive.

The urge disappeared but I didn’t tell her that oh. I jejely went to enjoy myself on my bed.

When I finally went out, the smoke had not cleared but since I took a big handkerchief to sit on, my bum kissed the earth with protection.

Every corp member was seated under the sun except Miss NYSC. Be like this spinal cord thing dey work for her o, or so I thought.

She was walking round the platoons like she was looking for someone. I had to ask the person next to me what was up and she said we’re serving punishment because of the girl.

Come again!?

Apparently, someone had asked for her phone number and she didn’t like it so she reported to the Commandant. So the parade was called to find her toaster since she didn’t know his name, just his face.

Wow.

Ashey, the Miss NYSC was sleeping in the hostel and had to be called to the parade ground to identify her offender.

See ehn, there are levels to this power thing.


The soldiers had resulted to punishing platoon by platoon and unfortunately, mine was first. Trust me, I was plotting another escape plan when someone started coughing. As the sharp girl that I am, I used my Red Cross status to attend to her, leaving my platoon members to chain crawl to the end of the field.

By the time she was stable, a friend of the wanted guy had stood up to bail him out.
The parade was dismissed.

People were swearing for the girl. I feel sorry for her. She now has so many enemies.

Want to know what happened to the boy?

Wait for my next rant episode. 😛

I’m going to collect Hot Akara and Pap. I’ve used all my money to eat pounded yam in camp.

Send help. 😭
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