Sorry for the long wait. I have been bee-sea. This is the third and final part of my camp experience saga. Read the previous one here.
Ready? Here we go.
Remember the toastee that got us punished because we could not locate her toaster? Right. After that day, she made so many enemies. Almost all corp members had something hurtful to say about her.
As for the toaster, I bin no dey there but they said they found him sleeping in the hostel and the entire matter died down because “power pass power.”
On to the next one.
I hear people say camp was fun and things. LOL. It wasn’t until I left that I realized that I didn’t really make a lot of friends in camp. If not for my Red Cross members, am die.
Also, there was terrible network so I was completely absent online.
For three weeks, I was a stranger, even to my platoon members. We what? We move.
My favorite part of my camp experience was my Red Cross meetings, the weather, and the food.
The meetings made us feel like superheroes. We had to wake up earlier than every other corp member, even earlier than OBS, to prepare for the day. People were even collapsing in early morning parades, no jokes. The most common reason for the collapse was asthma sha, the rest of them were just malingering.
The only annoying part about Red Cross-ing was when other corp members would yell at us at the slightest opportunity. One full-grown man even asked me to rub his butt in the middle of a football match.
The weather in the camp was extreme. If it wanted to be cold, it would almost snow. If heat wan dey, everywhere go dey boil. I still loved it like that sha.
FOOD! If you know me well, you’ll know that my middle name is food and that it is even on my birth certificate.
I gained weight in camp, no lies. Half of the space in my box was occupied with snacks and drinks. I couldn’t risk getting hungry abeg. I even had to give out my leftover snacks because I couldn’t finish it alone.
Mammy became my favorite place the day I discovered that Banga soup was sold there. (God bless Niger Delta Kitchen, Aunty Becky and Blessed Samuel).
I asked a lot of questions pre-camp in this post. Yes, I found good toilets. Yes, there was water (but I had to pay for hot water.) I carried enough wipes, had to pay to charge my phones and other devices. Person bin exchange my jungle boots but I got a kind fella to swap one that fit with me. Nothing else was stolen. No yogurt in camp (because NutriMilk is milk juice, not yogurt.) Yes, I survived the weather (use sunscreen guys), and I took my hair in twists to camp.
Note to PCMs. If you’re the quiet type and want to enjoy camp, please join Red Cross or OBS. If you want plenty of friends, better march with your platoon and attend morning drills. Please don’t lie that you’re sick when you’re not. E nuh make no sense.
Carry money oh, my people. Or better still, look for camp wife/husband. People were kuku looking for others to spend on. I hope they are all fine wherever they are right now.
My mates were giving laundry guys their clothes to wash and I was using ice to wash mine every day. Leemao. Please, carry enough whites if you are a dirty person.
This one is important. Make friends with everyone, especially the officials and soldiers. Keep your big man at home.
The last one, don’t talk too much. You don’t know who is who. The fact that you’re all wearing khaki does not mean you all are mates. Respect yourself and stay outta trouble.
My camp was okay. Sadly, Davido was in town but he didn’t come to my camp. I would have said “maybe next time” but there is no next time plix.
Tomorrow is my birthday! I will be attending a Corona Virus sensitization program (by force) instead of turning up. Send prayers (and funds)!
Thank you for reading. Stay shiny!
Your favorite jewel,
** OBS – Orientation Broadcast Service
** PCMs – Prospective Corp Members